All I want for Christmas is .............my left breast!?

Surgery on Thursday went well.  I was walking into the operating room at 9:00 and was getting in the car to go home at 11:00.  It was a very fast, in and out, surgery.  I was feeling good until 3:00 when I was feeling some pain so I decided to take one of the pain pills the gave me.  They were Oxycodone which I have never taken.  I didn't feel so good shortly after taking it.  Six hours later I was starting to feel better.  When I checked out the side effects I realized I had almost all of them (nausea, vomiting, dizziness, tired).  I am not sure why people get hooked on that stuff, it was awful!!

But on a positive note I FINALLY have the implant on my left side.  Merry Christmas to me.
I hope all of you have a Safe and Merry Christmas!

Surgery again.....

I will be having surgery on December 6th to take out the expander on my left side and put in the implant.  This will be an out patient procedure so I get to go home the same day.  The last surgery went well.  Everything healed like it was suppose to.  I do find that with the expander, when I sleep on my back for extended periods of time, my left side (side with the expander) hurts.  When I wake up and realize that I have been sleeping on my back and my left side hurts, it is hard to turn to my side.  I am not sure why that is but the expander will be gone soon.  I still need to get my base scans done but not until 2-3 months after surgery.  I don't want any false positives.  I go in every three months now for a blood test to look for tumor markers.  So far so good.

My energy has returned and I find I can do most things that I used to do.  I do still seem to have a hard time running so I have been walking quickly on the treadmill and lifting weights. 

Things have been so busy that I feel like I am going through the motions of life. Waiting for an opportune time to acknowledge and grieve both for my Dad and having cancer.  Time heals..........?

Post Surgery.....again.......

Well.... I had surgery again. I had the Lasissumus flap done. After I woke up and was able to check out the incision I wasn't sure if that is was she did. It looks like a long football shaped skin was taken from my back and patched onto my breast but after talking to her today (I had her explain exactly what she did) I found out that that isn't entirely correct. She took the muscle and skin from under my left shoulder blade and moved it, still attached, under my skin until it reached my front where she had it surface and put in place on my left breast. It really is quite amazing what they can do. I thought I would have this ledge under my left arm to contend with but that is not the case. I have a little "fullness" under my left arm but nothing like I expected. I will need to go back in a couple of weeks to add to the expander. I will need to do this a couple of times before we put the implant back in. I am in no rush. I want this one to heal correctly. Now it is time to heal..... I have noticed some of the emotions are staring to creep in. Just as my GP told me they would. But it is not about me or the cancer, not yet. I still need to mourn for my Dad. I think the hard part is yet to come....

Is anybody out there...?

I think I show my age when I reference songs from my past..... I am not sure if anyone still reads this but I will continue to post anyway. I have gone through 2 infections on my left breast since my silicone implants were put in on May 3rd. I have been on antibiotics since June 10th. My Dr. wanted me to go in and have the implant taken out right away but I had two vacations planned and after discussing it with my Dr. we decided that as long as I continue to monitor the infection while on antibiotics it would be ok. If the infection was getting worse I would need to go in right away whether I was in Northern MN or in Washington DC. After noticing the second infection the day I arrived in Washington DC I thought for sure I was going to need to go into the hospital but the new antibiotics she prescribed (CVS was only 2 block from the hotel) did the trick. So far I am doing fine and anxiously awaiting surgery on Friday July 27th. Exactly one year from my double mastectomy. On Friday July 27th I will be having a Latissimus Flap done. This is when they take skin and tissue from my back and bring it around to my front while still attached, to cover the area that is not healing. The skin and tissue on my left breast that has been radiated will no longer stretch so I have a hole the size of a pencil eraser within the incision, that will not heal. My Dr. will do this along with putting in a tissue expander so I will have one breast until she can start filling the expander. Later on I will need to have surgery to replace the tissue expander with another implant. I have my last Herceptin (Chemo) infusion on Wednesday July 25th. That is exciting! I will have another part of treatment behind me! I will then need to go in every three months for a blood test to look for cancer markers. As of July 12th I am now a one year survivor of breast cancer. Thank you to all of you who have supported and prayed for me and my family through our journey. Words cannot express the gratitude we have for your generosity.

I Can Float!

I am one day post OP. I have the implants in and just took the bandages off and took a shower. The implants are much more comfortable than the expanders. I really didn't realize how awkward those were until now. My Dr. made a bunch of lines on my chest with a purple marker yesterday pre surgery and it looks like it will take a couple of showers to get rid of the marker (it was kind of funny, she even initialed the markings). Surgery was at 7:30 and we were home by 10:30, not bad! The pain today is much better than yesterday and I think today will be the last day of the pain killers. I think tonight I will try tylenol. No digging in the garden or reaching up high for a couple of weeks then they want me to exercise my arms to get full motion. I had her work on my chin also (from my car accident last Sept) I still feel the bump so I hope it turns out ok. Getting closer to my new normal!!

This time in my life......

I am now done with radiation and am doing fine. The "burn" under my arm has healed well and healed quickly. After 6 weeks of going to the doctor every weekday I feel like I am forgeting to do something at 2:00 every day.

I am enjoying this nice weather and looking forward to working in the garden this weekend. I am anxious to get some gardening done before my surgery (switch tissue expanders for implants) on May 3rd. I am sure they won't want me digging in the dirt right after surgery :)

My hair is getting longer, it is about an inch long now. It does look similar to the same color, maybe a little more gray. I will leave it the color it comes in. I have never colored my hair and don't plan on starting now. I do hope I get the "chemo curl". It would be nice to have something other than stick straight hair.

I was recently told that someone else close to me has breat cancer and I was very sad to hear that news. After being someone who has had it, it made me really mad. the Susan G Komen slogan is fight for a cure. I guess I would like them to fignt to prevent it in the first place.

I am almost to the end of this part of the journey and have not really thought about having had cancer or being a survivor or whatever they say now. My Dr tells me this will hit me at some point and to be ready for it. I think the best advice is to live one day at a time and know that I will have sad days and happy days just like everyone else. Right now I am just happy that I am were I am, in my treatment and in my life.

Almost made it.....

I almost made it to the end of radiation treatment without any issues. As of Friday evening I had 6 radiaiont treatments left and Friday night I woke up in the middle of the night because a spot under my left arm hurt. Not having my contacts in and not wanting to turn on a bright light in the middle of the night I didn't look too close and didn't think it was too much so I went back to bed. In the morning I woke with that spot hurting more and my pajamas stuck to it. So needless to say when I tried to remove my jamies from my side I riped off skin. So I have an open, area approx 1 inch wide and 4 inches long under my arm pit where the expanders meet my chest wall. Now this is not skinless mind you but more like a burn and feels like one also. The Dr has given me some gunky lotion stuff with silver in it that is suppose to be really good on burns. That does make it feel better but I cannot wear any good shirts because it will ruin them.

Today (Tuesday) they started to narrow the radiation beem to focus on the spot were the cancer was. They will do this for the remaining 5 days. Prevoiusly they were radiating the entire breast into my left arm pit. This narrowing will help the "burn" area to heal without having to worry about having it radiated.

I still consider myself lucky to have so few issues with this process to date. And I guess it is lucky that I am a right side sleeper :)

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I am done with 19 of 30 radiation treatments, yahoo!! The area has become red and splotchy and in the last couple days become itchy.
This is still a much easier process than the hard chemo. I am still going in every 3 weeks for the Herceptin infusion and on those days I get really tired. The weeks that I do not have the infusion I usually get tired by the end of the week and need a nap.

This past week has been difficult with all 4 of us getting sick with colds. We are just now getting to the end of it.

I look out my kitchen window and without snow it makes me itchy to go work in the garden. I can't wait until I can do that! I have so many ideas for it this year! I hope the weather is nice this spring so I can start early.

On Course

I had the verification scan on Monday. It was pretty easy. They just lined me up like I was getting the radiation and took pictures instead of zapping me.

I have had 4 radiation treatments now. I lay down face up on a table and they call out a few numbers to make sure I am in the correct position, then the radiation machine moves around me to get lined up and I get zapped. The do this in two different positions. Every other day they lay a wet towel on me at the radiation site. They told me this "tricks" the machine into targeting my skin. When they don't use the wet towel they radiate my chest wall. That way they are able to radiate the area above and below the cancer site to make sure it all gets zapped.

The whole appointment only takes 15 minutes. After the appointment I come home and put aloe on the area because sometimes it feels like it is sunburnt even though there is no redness yet.

My head keeps getting fuzzier and it looks blonde or maybe strawberry blonde.

Radiation........again

Plans are for the verification scan tomorrow and the radiation to start Tuesday. Hopefully nothing happens to postpone it again.

Murphy's Law

Well, I was getting kind of excited that March 5th would be my last day of radiation but then I received a call yesterday (Monday)morning from the radiologist. The computers are down and they don't expect them to be up again until at least Tuesday. Just as I was going to call today (Tuesday) to see if the computers were up and when my verification scan might be, they called to tell me that they weren't going to be able to do it today and maybe not tomorrow. They will call me in the morning to let me know. They are still trying to catch up with those that are already in the middle of there treatments. I certainly understand, if I was one of those already in the middle of my treatments I would hope they would do the same thing.
So I may have to push my last treatment out a couple of days to a week, oh well, that's the way the ball bounces or cookie crumbles or whatever.....

Radiation Time

At my doctor appt on January 5th I scheduled a Simulatiom Planning Scan for Jan 8th. At that appt they scanned my chest to put a plan together for radiation. I will have a verification scan on Monday Jan 16th to make sure that the plan they put together will work, then radiation will start on Tuesday. I am told that the side effects are minimal and are mostly skin related, kind of a sunburn in the area they radiate and dry skin. However, there is always risk with a laser being pointed at the side of your chest were your heart is. The plan is to have radiation for 35 days (7 weeks). Barring any snow storms or the machine breaking down I should be done with radiation March 5th! Hooray!

I think my hair is getting longer! At least, my head is getting fuzzier!!

Lately I have had people come up to me and ask what type of cancer I am being treated for. I guess the scarf is a dead giveaway! I have heard many stories of treatment, hair loss and survival of many different types of cancer and each one of those stories are inspirational!

A New Year

Here we are... A brand new year! I am really looking forward to the newness of a new year. A new start if you will. My family (my Mom and brothers and sisters, as well as my husband and children) have had a very emotionally difficult year.
It is time for new beginnings and looking forward to a brand new year!

I had my first Herceptin only infusion appointment on December 28th. That was a piece of cake compared to my fulll regimen that ended on December 7th. It only took an hour and no side effects with the Herceptin! YEA!! Getting back to feeling and eating well and starting to exercise. It feels so good! My hair is staring to grow again, my head is getting fuzzy, fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.......

I have an appointment with my Radiology Oncologist on January 5th to find out when I will be starting radiation. I am told they usually start right away. I know I will be having the radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks but the sooner I start the sooner I am done!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and Hannuka and I hope you all have a great 2012!