It's Official - Release Date Monday !

Doctors came in today and said Denise would have to stay until Monday after her little episode on Saturday. She seems to be smiling at that news, but she seems to be smiling alot recently. Either it's the medication or she has been drinking a couple glasses of wine since she acts the same.

We found out we just hit over 1000 page views on this little communication tool. Denise enjoys getting the emails also, she should be able to start replying as she feels much better. Please send her a note if you wish denise@hopeforcure.org.

Chocolate Ice Cream For Dinner

Yes, Denise had Ben & Jerry's Super Fudge Chunk ice cream for dinner last night after surgery. (For you healthy people, she also had some Chicken Broth).

Her second surgical episode went well as surgery can. We were there last night and all looked well as she wasn't experiencing the pain I witnessed at 1:00.

She will have to take it easy for a few days and NOT stress between now and next week when she gets the results of everything. Hah! That's easier said than done.

She is not supposed to pick up anything more than 5 lbs for the next two weeks - that includes the vacuum cleaner, laundry baskets, garbage bags, etc. Hmmm... They did mention something else about no housework for a year but that may be stretching things a little. I've always talked about bringing in a swedish housekeeper to help her with the day to day routine. Maybe it's time to bring it up again...then maybe not.

PS she will eat a balanced diet today to make up for my dinner last night.

Things Look Better This Evening.

After a brief scare this afternoon, things are looking better this evening. In fact Denise looked and felt almost as good as she did when we saw her at noon. Blood Pressure 118/72 and all other vitals good, I wish I could get my pressure down to those levels. She was relaxed talking to us like nothing had happened. Return home may be pushed back an extra day, but otherwise everything is moving as planned. Thanks all for the thoughts and prayers.

Did I Do this Right?

Nobody told me I couldn't mix colors in these new fangled washers!

Recovery Day....then Setback.

Kids and I went to see Denise this morning for a couple of hours, she was doing great. The Nurses had her sitting up, walking and on a liquid diet. We skyped family members and everyone agreed she looked great for being in surgery 24 hours ago. We discussed getting released around noon on sunday with her surgeon, said our goodbyes and headed home for lunch.
As we pulled into the driveway the hospital called and said they were wheeling Denise back to OR with some internal bleeding, but didn't seem overly concerned. Routine Hematoma or something like that. I ran back to the hospital in time to see her going in. After another hour long procedure they were able to cauterize a large vessel and suture her back to where the process starts over again...Post-Op recovery, throwing up etc. This latest episode should delay the return home one more day to Monday.

And she was doing fantastic......

Famous Last Words "Don't Let Dad Do The Laundry"!

As the family gathered in Pre-Op yesterday before Denise headed down for surgery we we trying to clam the nerves of the littlest family members. They have been so full of worry and nervousness over the surgery it has been difficult to keep all of our anxiety at bay.

“Who is going to take care of us?” Lucas inquired.

“Dad will be home to get you where you need to go”

“Yes, but who is going to feed us, and do the laundry?”

One of the last words we heard before going into surgery "Don't let Dad do the Laundry"

Lucas and I spent the night alone (Samantha had a sleepover) and we managed fine, so this morning I thought I would throw a load of laundry in, you know pitch in and help out. Simple load of towels.

What could go wrong?

Surgery shows promise...

Denise came out of surgery at 4:47pm, just under 4 hours. Although the doctors expected it could take up to 4 hours, the first surgeon calls me in the waiting area after two hours. The outcome is encouraging. The lump was relatively small, about 1.7cm, which is what they estimated. More importantly, the tumor was not attached to the chest muscle. They also removed the "sentinel" lymph node from under her armpit. The lymph nodes they removed showed no indication the cancer had spread. This was very good news since lymph node involvement is an important factor in determining the stage of the cancer. The sentinel nodes are the primary nodes that collect fluid that drains from the breast. If the cancer has spread to lymph nodes, it will show up in these nodes first. An initial biopsy of the lymph node was performed during surgery and this result was good, no cancer cells present. Additional tests will be done on the breast tissue and this sentinel lymph node and results will come back in about a week. There is less than a 10% chance that these additional tests will prove different than the initial biopsy performed in surgery. If the additional biopsy shows more cancer, the doctor will need to perform an additional surgery to remove more nodes. We are hopeful this will not be the case. A pathologist will also look at the tissue that was removed with the tumor to make sure that they have not missed anything. For now, we wait.

The plastic surgeon finally came into the waiting area around 4:45 and said things went very well. She had placed breast tissue expanders into the chest wall which will remain for a period of time and until all other treatments we may have to deal with are completed. This process of reconstruction could take up to 9-12 months.

Denise is resting well in her room and I should be able to provide more updates tomorrow. We appreciate all the prayers and hugs today. Good Day, Great Day!

Denial......it isn't just a river in Egypt

I don't think I'm in denial; I just have to keep reminding myself that this is real. I don't feel like I have cancer. As I was reading a message board for women diagnosed with cancer, these women were discussing issues I haven't even begun to think about. And I caught myself thinking "Thank goodness I don't have to make these decisions." But I do. And it scares the crap out of me.

Well, this is last my last day of having my girls, breasts, ta-ta’s whatever you call them nowadays. But more importantly, it is my last day of having BREAST CANCER. So…is's time to be graceful and let the boobies go. I decided it’s time to concentrate on the good, on the positive. And that’s what I am going to do. Positive news, the test results from last week came back good. The MRI, Good! The Ultrasound, Good! And The PET/CT scan showed nothing more than the original cancer in my left breast. Good News!

Positive things I think of:

First and foremost. My Family, My main source of support.

My good friends. So many of you give me support in ways that I could never thank you enough for.

Excellent doctors... my general practitioner since 1994 gave me a hug today as I left her office. It’s nice to know your doctor cares about you!!

Christmas lights. Vikings, Twins, Swarm. The smell of rain. Rainbows. 60's music, peace signs and Tye-Dye!

My new boobs…positive right? I’ve come a long way in thinking about these…I remember when I was a kid and would build a tower out of blocks. Someone would come by and knock it over and I would build it back up again. The tower it isn't the same, but it is still mine.

I’m going to spend today, and the rest of my life HAPPY. I realized a lot of unhappiness in the past 2 weeks is simply a reaction to stress, appointments, waiting, and not knowing. I can choose to be miserable and sad, or I can choose to be HAPPY.

So, POSITIVE energy. POSITIVE thoughts! Happy thoughts!

And lots of hugs.

Not to say I’m not scared…I am. But I’m going to be fine. Actually, I am going to be GREAT.

So, please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow, and thank you so much for your advice, input, jokes and everything these past two weeks. You’re all so wonderful.

I will be online as quickly as I can.

Have a great weekend everyone.

I Want Steak and Potato’s

Growing up in farm country I’ve always been accustomed to eating red meat, gravy and potato’s and a nice slice of pumpkin pie.


But times and lifestyles change.


We’ve been reading and doing a lot of research on cancer causes, preventions, and healthy living. Being a supportive husband I’m going along for the ride. I could lose a few pounds myself anyway.


Earlier this week I blogged about the super vegetable Kale and someone was kind enough to supply their favorite Kale recipe in the comment section of the blog. So, the last two evenings as I walk through the door from work, I smell Kale wafting through the house. Kale Chips to be exact, small pieces of lettuce type material baked on a cookie sheet and garnished with Olive Oil, Sea Salt, Black Pepper or Chili Powder. Oh yum! Actually not too bad, but an acquired taste.


More books, healthier lifestyle changes.


“Breast cancer patients who drank wheatgrass juice daily showed a decreased need for blood- and bone marrow-building medications during chemotherapy, without diminishing the effects of the therapy.


So, last evening we were out and about and I turned to Denise and said “Let’s go try that wheatgrass juice stuff”. We found the perfect juice bar in town and mosey’d up to the counter. I said give me a glass of that wheatgrass juice fully expecting a nice cool 12 oz. glass of slightly greenish liquid elixir. The counter chick asked “Do you want a glass or a shot”? Oh, I said I better start with a two ounce shot since they are $3.29. She then went on and asked, “Do you want it straight up or with a chaser”? I thought where am I, Eddie’s liquor lounge? It turns out many people use a normal juice such as apple juice to mask some of the unique flavor profiles that wheatgrass provides. I chose apple juice. The result was surprising, taste wasn’t too bad. Denise mentioned it smelled and tasted like freshly mowed yard grass. I felt like chewing my cud all night which must be a side effect. Many consumers of wheatgrass start growing grass in their homes and juice themselves, maybe another day….

Today's Public Service Announcement

5 Simple Ways To Cut Your Breast Cancer Risk


#1. Limit yourself to 2-3 alcoholic drinks a week.


A recent study showed the link between drinking and breast cancer was especially strong in the 70% of tumors known as hormone-sensitive. Alcohol, consumed regularly, is believed to increase the risk of breast cancer. Most doctors recommend cutting back on wine, beer, and hard liquor and limit to not more than 2-3 units per week.


#2. Exercise at least 3 times a week.


And more often is even better! And when you do exercise, exert yourself to keep your heart-rate above its normal level for a minimum of 20 minutes at a stretch. Long walks are good but just not enough to make your sweat. It’s the more vigorous exercise (when you sweat like a pig) that really helps your heart and cuts your cancer risk.


#3. Maintain your body weight/lose weight if you’re overweight.


Research shows that being overweight or obese (especially if you’re past menopause) increases your risk, especially if you put on the weight as an adult. And a study also showed that obese and overweight women also had lower breast cancer survival rates than average-weight or underweight women.


#4. Do a monthly breast self-exam.


Make your to mark your calender for a day for breast self-examination. Ask your doctor for proper instructions and techniques; chances are that you might catch the lump before a mammogram does, and it’s a good idea to follow the changes in your body.


#5. Have a mammogram once a year after 40.


Just like “Early bird catching the worm”, detecting a tumor early increases the chance of survival significantly: The 5-year survival rate can be as high as 98% for the earliest-stage detection, but hangs around 27% for the advanced-stage disease.
Early detection of breast cancer is key (and the closest thing to prevention one can think of), because a tumor is a lot easier to treat if you, your doctor, or a mammogram can catch it while it’s still small. So plan and be prepared for breast cancer.

I think I have found myself at a place called "information overload."

Surgery is fast approching and difficult to face. Friday is almost here...and I'm scared...and in a way, happy. Happy of course that the tumors will be gone. Scared, of course... of a lot of things. But I am gong in positive and strong....and I will be Great! I appreciate all of you reading, listening and responding to me. There are so many factors contributing to the recommendation that both the surgeon and oncologist gave but bottom line is I will be having a bilateral masectomy with reconstruction. That means both girls are coming off and tissue expanders are going in to stretch the muscle and skin for implants at a later date. While I am in surgery they will be doing a sentinel lymph node biopsy procedure to determine if the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. With this procedure the surgeon injects a blue dye or radioactive fluid into the area where the cancerous tumor is located. The die/radioactive fluid will naturally move through the breast. The surgeon will then follow the trail and remove the first, or sentinel, lymph node where the fluid first drains from the breast and biopsy it. He will continue to do this to remove the nodes that have cancer.

Oddities and Breast Cancer

I thought these were odd when I read them the other day. Common theme "Researchers don't know why"? Denise does not fall into either category, in fact she doesn't fall into many of the categories listed in the article I read.

Height and Breast cancer
Tall women have a higher risk of breast cancer. Researchers don’t know exactly why, but it may be related to the fact that tall people grow more. Some of the same hormones and other factors that make people grow may also increase the chance that dividing cells become abnormal and turn cancerous.

Birth weight and Breast cancer
Women who weighed more at birth have a higher risk of breast cancer before menopause. Researchers aren’t sure exactly why this is, but they are studying different influences like pregnancy hormones and other prenatal factors to learn more about breast cancer development.

Eat Right, Exercise, Get Cancer

I am not an angry person. In fact, I will pat myself on the back and say that I have not even been angry with God about this situation. The way I look at it, all you have to do is open the newspaper to realize that life is not fair. People suffer randomly all the time.

However, I am angry about one aspect of my cancer. I take great care of myself. I have always been at my ideal weight. I eat tons of veggies & try to eat the right foods. I exercise often as my blood pressure is consistently in the 110/65 level. I go for regular doctor exams & I get my teeth cleaned every six months.

And it didn’t do me a damn bit of good.

Perhaps good health is just an illusion. I don’t know. My doctors and my loved ones try to point out that my otherwise good health will help me through these treatments. That self care will reduce the likelihood of a reoccurance. Do I have a “positive attitude?” Sort of. I’m working on it.

I do have a very determined attitude: I will push past all of my fears in order to endure any treatment, surgery or side effect that I have to endure in order to best my odds.

Cale or Kale?

Last evening while getting ready for bed, Denise asked “Do you know what Kale is”? I said yes, he was a NASCAR driver in the late 70’s, Cale Yarborough, why do you ask? She said no, no, Kale “the wonder vegetable”.

That’s what our life is now, research , reading and more research.

We’re trying to get a better understanding of what's in store, what our options are, what decisions we need to make. So I've been on the Internet. And I've gotten some books. Four of them, to be exact. I've got one that cover the "basics," one that provides practical tips, two aimed at women with breast cancer and one on preventing breast cancer through diet. Last night we downloaded an app to our iPhone titled “ieat healthy for breast cancer”. Thus we discovered Kale, the wonder vegetable.

Kale is considered by nutritionists to be the most nutritious vegetable in the world with extremely powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties.
Kale is among one of the most nutritional vegetables around even though it may not spend much nights on the dining room table as would spinach, lettuce, broccoli and even Brussels sprouts. But this member of the Brassica family of vegetables sure does know how to pack quite a nutritional punch and keep up with the all stars of dining room vegetables. Kale has many health benefits that may just tempt you to add more kale to your diet.

One of the health benefits of this wonder vegetable is that it is loaded with a lot of vitamins. Kale contains a healthy serving of vitamin A, B-vitamins, vitamins C, E and K and has many essential minerals. These vitamins and minerals help to keep the body fit and healthy. B-vitamins help to give the body energy to last throughout the day, vitamin K helps the blood to clot and vitamins A, C and E are known antioxidants that rid the body of dangerous free radicals.

As such, kale has the health benefit of fighting cancer. Green leafy vegetables such as kale have some of the most powerful cancer fighting phytonutrients. Kale is an excellent source of gluosinolates, a substance that helps the body to render harmful substances harmless. Several studies have shown that people who eat kale regularly have a decreased chance of getting cancers. A Korean study found an association between kale consumption and lower incidence of breast cancer. Kale components quercetin, I3C and sulforaphane have all been shown increase the anti-cancer effects of the chemotherapy drug Taxol (paclitaxel).

So load up on kale and green leafy vegetables to ward off cancer.

It's OK Mom, Don't Cry

Telling your children that you have cancer must rank as one of the toughest things a mom or dad can do.

Telling your children and family you have breast cancer was an upsetting and overwhelming task. We had just come to terms with the news ourselves and by telling your family, it validates your cancer and makes it more real. Friends have told us sometimes saying the words out loud can be a positive step towards accepting your cancer.

Denise and I initially decided we were not going to tell them right away and we were not going to use the "C" word in front of them. Kids often overhear things, so we decided it is much better to give them information directly than leave them to make assumptions on their own. We’ve always been honest with our kids so why change now.

We leaned on some special friends and family that went through this very thing and were encouraged with the advice we were given.

We let them know that Mom was going to be OK and needed surgery to remove a tumor, there would be some tough days ahead, but we will get through this together as a family.

Their reaction was positive and proved to us that we have great kids and didn't need the extra stress in our lives worrying about this task.

This journey won’t be an easy one. But we are doing great and are in excellent spirits. Neighbors, friends and family have given her a lot of support, which has helped tremendously. “Together we pray that we will all be happy and healthy and live a long time”.

U2 Concert Tonight..Family Together

Bono wrote this song about his father who dealt with cancer.

It Takes A Forest

Denise received her cancer news 12 days ago and already we have more paperwork than we know what to do with. I can already see that this is going to be a challenge for even her organizational abilities. Between copies of reports, receipts, instructions, and insurance forms, several trees will make the ultimate sacrifice to get us through this journey. I only hope that the paper cut is the most pain she'll have to endure.

Surgery Scheduled

I have two Pre-Op appointments next Wednesday and Surgery will be Friday July 29th at Fairview Southdale Hospital. They belive my stay will only be 1 or 2 nights, with recovery at home.

To Blog or Not to Blog?...that is the question.

I thought for days about whether to blog about Denise's cancer "journey". It would be a first for me -- the blogging, and Denise's cancer, of course. I'm on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, but rarely "update" there. What would I say anyway? Do I really want everyone to know what's going on in my life? Each day? Each hour? Do they even care? Why would they care?

But this is different. Living with and fighting breast cancer is pretty important. People do care. Denise's family and friends care. So, by blogging about it I might be able to accomplish several things: 1) Keep our friends and family abreast (pun intended) on Denise's "journey". (I can't get used to using the word "journey"...it's just weird, but saying "cancer" isn't exactly easy either); 2) build awareness along the way --- girls, remember to "feel your boobies"; and 3) hopefully, share some funny stories, of which Denise and my family will provide an endless supply.

I struggled with a name for the blog. Maybe this would be a lot more interesting if I just titled it, "My Life with Denise." The stories would be so much more interesting and funny. Some stories might even be as scary. "My Wife with Cancer"?? Boring and depressing? Perhaps. But "My Life with Denise" sort of misses the point.

Daughter Samantha will need to be reminded that this is my blog. She's a born editor and a writer, so she'll want editing rights. But she'll have to settle with the rights to strike posts that talk too much about bodily functions (I did say that this blog would include "the good, the bad and the ugly", didn't I? After all, this is cancer. Cancer is ugly. Trust me, we're going to see and hear about the "ugly").

I'm not sure how this blog will evolve, or whether it will evolve at all. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you what it isn't:

-- It's not a blow-by-blow account of every up and down of this "journey."

-- It's not a woe-is-me/us drama (everyone has a cross to bear at some point; this is ours).

-- It's not a breast cancer crusade (though if it helps bring more attention, great).

-- It might not always be medically accurate (I'm not a doctor and this is complicated stuff).

-- It's not all about Denise (what?!?!). OK...mostly about Denise.

I have no idea where this will go or whether I will even stick it out (the blogging that is...Denise and the cancer are locked in for the duration). You're welcome to tune in or tune out. It's your choice.

Summer's Heat; Rude Awakening

It's summer. The flowers are blooming with bright pink flowers. The grass is growing greener (well, at least in other people's yards). The sun is setting later in the evening and Hot weather is near. But this year, summer's heat also brings a rude awakening.

And so it begins....the "journey," that is. That's survivor-speak (or so I've learned) for people living with cancer. It is not a journey we planned to take. In fact, we don't even know where we're going. It may be a long journey and it won't be fun. But funny things will certainly happen along the way. And we hope to share them here -- not only the funny things, but the good, the bad and, now and then, the ugly.

Actually, the journey began just over a couple weeks ago, June 28th to be exact, when my wife, Denise, unintentionally grazed a lump in an area of her chest just below her left breast. When she mentioned to me that evening and showed it to me I could feel it, but even scarier, I could actually see a small marble shape just under her skin.

"Where the hell did that come from all of a sudden?" I asked out loud.

That's where it began. On a typical summer day in June. And just weeks later I'm using words like "journey". And "climbing my mountain of hope".... Ahhhhhh!

My Dance Card is Filling Up

Friday morning I'll meet with an Oncologist for a consultation and get some blood work done. Next Monday I get a break with a car appointment. Tuesday I have an MRI scheduled and a consultation with the Plastic/Reconstruction Surgeon. Wednesday will be the PET/CT Scan and Thursday an Ultrasound. Hopefully once I get through all of these appointments things will start happening pretty quickly. I'm ordering some office supplies and filing supplies so I can keep all of this straight!

Consultation with the Surgeon Set

I have a consultation appointment with the surgeon for tomorrow, Wednesday, at 11 am. Hopefully we will learn more about what is to come. I have a list of questions ready to go! Randy will go with me so that when the information becomes too much for me to take in, I'll have another set of ears to absorb it all. Thanks to everyone so far for all of your words of support and offers of help. Please know that it's not personal if I don't return your phone calls; I'm just trying to get my bearings and I'm not quite ready to talk about this yet.

Not the News I Was Hoping For

On June 28th I felt a lump on the left side of my breast while itching mosquito bites (darn mosquito's, or maybe good mosquito's in this case). I was concerned enough to seek out help from my primary care physician the next day. She immediately scheduled me for a mammogram and ultrasound for the next day (June 30th) at the Breast Center. They suggested a biopsy. I was in the middle of Lucas' baseball tournament (His team, the Twins won the 5th Grade Championship) plus, our family was preparing to leave on vacation on Saturday July 2nd. I decided to go on vacation and have the lump biopsied the day after I returned which was July 11th. I found out the results on July 12th, my Dad's Birthday. Right now, there are certainly more questions than there are answers. At this point, we do not know its grade or stage and I don't yet know what type of treatment I will receive. I will be meeting with more doctors and having more tests in the coming days and hope that we will soon receive more information.

I need to ask a couple of things of each of you.

First, please pray (think, pray, whatever it is that you do to send positive energy into the universe) for me, and my family, and the doctors that will treat me.

Second, please hold off on the phone calls for a few days. Email is great for me right now. I'm still having to remind myself that this is really happening, and I am not quite ready to have conversations about it yet.

Last, and this might be the most important thing I ever ask you to do, please make a commitment to do a monthly self breast exam and follow-up with your doctor if something is amiss. (Guys, please encourage the ladies in your life to do so.) In June, I found a lump in my breast entirely by accident. Know what is normal for you and follow up with your doctor when something is off.

I plan to stay positive and conquer this challenge in front of me. Please continue with the words of encouragement and follow along on my journey.