Denial......it isn't just a river in Egypt

I don't think I'm in denial; I just have to keep reminding myself that this is real. I don't feel like I have cancer. As I was reading a message board for women diagnosed with cancer, these women were discussing issues I haven't even begun to think about. And I caught myself thinking "Thank goodness I don't have to make these decisions." But I do. And it scares the crap out of me.

Well, this is last my last day of having my girls, breasts, ta-ta’s whatever you call them nowadays. But more importantly, it is my last day of having BREAST CANCER. So…is's time to be graceful and let the boobies go. I decided it’s time to concentrate on the good, on the positive. And that’s what I am going to do. Positive news, the test results from last week came back good. The MRI, Good! The Ultrasound, Good! And The PET/CT scan showed nothing more than the original cancer in my left breast. Good News!

Positive things I think of:

First and foremost. My Family, My main source of support.

My good friends. So many of you give me support in ways that I could never thank you enough for.

Excellent doctors... my general practitioner since 1994 gave me a hug today as I left her office. It’s nice to know your doctor cares about you!!

Christmas lights. Vikings, Twins, Swarm. The smell of rain. Rainbows. 60's music, peace signs and Tye-Dye!

My new boobs…positive right? I’ve come a long way in thinking about these…I remember when I was a kid and would build a tower out of blocks. Someone would come by and knock it over and I would build it back up again. The tower it isn't the same, but it is still mine.

I’m going to spend today, and the rest of my life HAPPY. I realized a lot of unhappiness in the past 2 weeks is simply a reaction to stress, appointments, waiting, and not knowing. I can choose to be miserable and sad, or I can choose to be HAPPY.

So, POSITIVE energy. POSITIVE thoughts! Happy thoughts!

And lots of hugs.

Not to say I’m not scared…I am. But I’m going to be fine. Actually, I am going to be GREAT.

So, please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow, and thank you so much for your advice, input, jokes and everything these past two weeks. You’re all so wonderful.

I will be online as quickly as I can.

Have a great weekend everyone.